Long distance relationships



Long distance relationships

Kiroe

Jan 6 2019 at 06:24am
Hi, kiroe here,
So i wanted to ask you all if you've had any experience with long distance relationships (different countries or just different cities) do you have any tips to keep it slive and make it a success? I've met a good deal of great people here and come the right one I could consider having a long distance relationship. Guy or gal, anyone got any input?

sirpengi

Jan 13 2019 at 04:37pm
I've been through a lot of LDRs in my life, one in which we've never even met (I was young, do not recommend), one that started off in person, moved to LD (because of school) and then back to in person, and one that was LD the whole time but with lots of traveling.

It's funny because I've done them so often (and I'm open to them again) but I don't recommend it for anyone! There's just a lot of work, communication and patience involved (I mean, that's true for all relationships but it's even more extreme for LDRs). Especially if physical intimacy is important to you, there will be a lot of times of loneliness and longing. Thus, I think if you're asking yourself "should I have a LDR with this person" you should really just take that as a "no". Instead, if you really connect with someone, and like them so much that you can't imagine a future without them, and such a question is moot, then good luck!

My biggest tip is making regular trips! Take turns visiting each other, and have the next trip planned (at least schedule wise) before parting ways. That way you have something to look forward to and work towards (having a countdown of "days until we meet again" makes things SO much easier).

Communication is also important! Depending on the needs of the people involved, that could be texts, phone calls, or video. Luckily there are tons of free options for all of these. I also recommend using a couple's app, like Between or Couple (there used to be Avocado but they closed its doors).

Lastly I think it's very important to have a long term goal. You can't keep up a LDR forever. There needs to be some idea of when it'll end (e.g., after she finishes school, after this job contract finishes, after my prison sentence runs out) and have some possible future in mind. Talking about said future (what city would we live in, what kind of place will we share, are we getting pets) is also a really nice way to get to know each other, connect, and dream.

Kiroe

Jan 13 2019 at 05:42pm
Quote (sirpengi * Jan 13, 2019 16:37)

I've been through a lot of LDRs in my life, one in which we've never even met (I was young, do not recommend), one that started off in person, moved to LD (because of school) and then back to in person, and one that was LD the whole time but with lots of traveling.

It's funny because I've done them so often (and I'm open to them again) but I don't recommend it for anyone! There's just a lot of work, communication and patience involved (I mean, that's true for all relationships but it's even more extreme for LDRs). Especially if physical intimacy is important to you, there will be a lot of times of loneliness and longing. Thus, I think if you're asking yourself "should I have a LDR with this person" you should really just take that as a "no". Instead, if you really connect with someone, and like them so much that you can't imagine a future without them, and such a question is moot, then good luck!

My biggest tip is making regular trips! Take turns visiting each other, and have the next trip planned (at least schedule wise) before parting ways. That way you have something to look forward to and work towards (having a countdown of "days until we meet again" makes things SO much easier).

Communication is also important! Depending on the needs of the people involved, that could be texts, phone calls, or video. Luckily there are tons of free options for all of these. I also recommend using a couple's app, like Between or Couple (there used to be Avocado but they closed its doors).

Lastly I think it's very important to have a long term goal. You can't keep up a LDR forever. There needs to be some idea of when it'll end (e.g., after she finishes school, after this job contract finishes, after my prison sentence runs out) and have some possible future in mind. Talking about said future (what city would we live in, what kind of place will we share, are we getting pets) is also a really nice way to get to know each other, connect, and dream.

thanks for the experience, so far I haven't met many for an LDR but when I find the one I'll still be open :P
thanks again

Kiroe

Jan 13 2019 at 05:42pm
a*

GalifreyPrincess

Jan 14 2019 at 06:51pm
My cousin here in Pittsburgh, PA, USA met and fell in love with a young woman from Russia. They did the long distance thing for a short while, and are now happily married.

So, I believe it can work out for the right people. Both people have to remain devout to each other, and put forth the best effort though. But, then that's true of any relationship.

Kiroe

Jan 14 2019 at 11:49pm
Inspiring :-) thanks

GalifreyPrincess

Jan 15 2019 at 02:12pm
Quote (Kiroe * Jan 14, 2019 23:49)

Inspiring :-) thanks


You're very welcome. :-D