STONED
My family on my mother’s side has a history of stones. No, not the fun kind that rock and roll, nor the artistic kind that you use to make Michelangelo’s David. The kind that make you bend over and holler in agony. That’s the kind that hit me yesterday night and sent me to the ER. No, no life-threatening crap, but I am doped up and it is not possible for me to concentrate. I need to let this pass. But - I take this opportunity to release something I’ve been sitting on for awhile. I do commissions, as some of you know, and so I put together a page of them. Maybe it will encourage some of you to order one yourself. Uncle John needs him some money, always. Especially with the price of Vicodin …
Anyway, here’s the link:
Enjoy. As soon as I can, I will continue. Right now, I have to lie down …
Warmest regards from a fetal position,
JED
May 30th, 2012 at 12:23 am
Ok Jed i may be able to help u with this. If your stones are made of calcium. What they call calcific kidney stones. I know what will work for them. I had them myself and they wanted to do surgury. A friend of mine in graduate school told this to me and it worked when i tried it.
First for the next month or two you dont take in the following at all…no coffee, tea, sode, seltzered waters of any type, and no caffiene….
You will instead drink all the lemon and lime juice u can stand…mix it in with every glass of water u drink and mix it strong. I did this for a month and when i went in for the preop ultra sound and x-ray they showed my kidneys clear.
I know this hurts. Its as close as a man can get to experiencing childbirth. I promise u man. THIS WORKS.
NO Energy drinks either….
May 30th, 2012 at 12:25 am
PS When this works for you i hope u will consider my request for Zona’s Daughter to be given a full pictorial spread along with Zona and Tula and their mother. Good luck.
May 30th, 2012 at 3:15 am
Good luck, Jed, and get better.
May 30th, 2012 at 5:15 am
Kidney stones can often be broken up via ultrasound into fragments small enough to pass relatively painlessly. I’ve heard that cranberry juice (aka the acidic liquids mentioned above) can also help. But check with your doctor about ultrasound if the kidneystones persist. Most health plans should cover it.
Be careful with turning all your liquids acidic, however; if you live in an area with high alkalinity in the water, this can actually make you sick, too. Most places have alkaline water, particularly if you get yours from the ground. For those of us in the Pacific Northwest, we have acidic water, so visiting places like Phoenix and Las Vegas, or Orlando, Florida, where the water is very alkaline can be hazardous to our health…unless we drink lime or lemon juice in our water.
(The ultrasound trick, alas, does not work for gallstones, which is why I had to have my gallbladder removed. >.o )
May 30th, 2012 at 7:25 am
Get well soon.
May 30th, 2012 at 10:39 am
You have my sypathy man. The only thing possibly worse would be if they were in a saliva gland and got infected. This causes intense over night swelling effectivly closing the throat and sending me to the ER. Definately suggesting that you speak to your doctor about the ultrasound mentioned above. So take what time you need and get better—we’ll still be here.
May 30th, 2012 at 5:14 pm
I hate to say this, but I got my first stone in a saliva gland, and I get kidney stones way too often. At least once a year. I had to have the first one removed via outpatient surgery, and my first kidney stone had me on serious painkillers until it passed. Since then, I’ve used my family’s home remedy, and it makes life hurt way less.
Doc Alaska is on the right trail. Get a couple of big ole’ jugs of apple juice, and make sure that they are *NOT* from concentrate. You may have to look around at some of the health food stores, or in the fruit juice for kids section of the store. Not everyone carries it anymore.
Fresh apple juice is very acidic, and I think has enzymes that help. Then all you do is drink it. For 3 days. It might take as many as 5 for it to completely pass, but your pain will start to drop considerably within the first couple of days. I didn’t even lose any work time during my last attack.
You’ll get sick of apple juice pretty quickly, but keep with it. Maybe throw in some cranberry juice to help kick any urinary tract infections.
Do this a couple times a year, or whenever you feel a stone coming on, and you’ll be a much happier man!
I resisted using the “old home remedy treatment”, until the second kidney stone attack. I would have painted myself pink and gone to a Hell’s Angel’s rally naked if it would have stopped the pain.
Give it a try. You really don’t have anything to lose.
May 30th, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Rallen, that is a fascinating mental image painted at the end, there. Thank you!
May 30th, 2012 at 8:45 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLbdX8Snpa8
Can’t wait to see your smilin’ face…
May 30th, 2012 at 8:53 pm
Also, if you’re stoned while being stoned …. here are guitar chords to adapt to the Ukulele ..
http://www.e-chords.com/chords/christie/san-bernardino
May 30th, 2012 at 10:16 pm
Once again Jed remember…. the acid trick with lemon, lime, or apple juice only works if they are calcific kidney stones as far as i know. Also the reason u want to stay away from soda and caffiene and anything seltzered, is that they cause leaching of calcium from the bones and then start building up in the kidneys as stones. I used to drink a lot of soda and mineral water every day until i got my stones. But after i got rid of them and stayed away from the mineral water and soda i havent had a stone since. The caffiene also causes excessive urine production and can contribute to urgency which is something u dont want with stones.
May 31st, 2012 at 4:19 am
Re: The advice above, it’s usually a good idea to avoid soda, energy drinks, and other processed soft drinks in general. Also to limit intake of teas and coffees, and trying to stick to the healthier versions. (In other words, green tea > coffee if possible.)
Can’t comment on the stones, but herbal and fruit teas are a great alternative to water and fruit juice in general, if you’re doing the above. But that’s just me gettin’ my health-nut preaching hat on.
I hope whatever you try works, and works fast. Take care of yourself, JED- order of the fans. (All of us I would imagine!)
May 31st, 2012 at 10:47 am
Poor you. Hunker down and feel better soon.
May 31st, 2012 at 10:53 am
What they’ve said, mostly. I’ve a family history of kidney stones, too. I was lucky enough to have a long talk with my doctor before I had a real problem - I drink more water than almost anyone I know, often with lemon juice. No soda to speak of. Black coffee - my vice - but then even more water to keep hydrated. It seems to work for me - my brother and nephew can’t kick their soda habits and have a stone every couple of years but I only had the first incident over 20 years back. Makes the frequent bathroom runs worthwhile. My sympathies & best of luck with this one - lets hope you avert a repeat!
May 31st, 2012 at 11:31 am
Thanks to you all. You’re all very wonderful, and I shall definitely take my cue from your suggestions. I’m feeling good today, and seeing the doc. I think you can count on an update tomorrow.
May 31st, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Ow, man you have my sympathy. While I have never suffered this curse, I have known others who have. It’s tough watch a big, rough man curled up in pain with tears leaking from his eyes, not crying mind you. Take care of yourself and get well.
May 31st, 2012 at 11:11 pm
I feel your pain also, although my father knows it better. 3 days ago he had is 5th surgery for one giant stone and had it broken down, then later that day he passed 15 of the suckers AT ONCE. He was not a happy camper but no longer has to go to the emergency room for them as he is always prepared with oxycodone
June 1st, 2012 at 10:19 am
I feel your pain my brother! Have had 3 myself.
June 1st, 2012 at 11:25 am
I thank you very much for thinking of your audience, and doing what you can, despite the agony you are going through.
Of course it’s a disappointment to have to wait longer for our next Zona installment, but that is trivial compared to your situation. I wish you all the best, and sincerely hope for a quick recovery for you for your own sake.
Rest, take it easy, and don’t go back to work on Zona until you can handle the load.
June 1st, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Yeah, time to make P-chan earn her salmon.
Ready, PET!!
June 1st, 2012 at 4:30 pm
I just realized I’m checking back in, not so much to see what is happening with Zona and friends, although that’s always fun, but this time I’m more interested in “is JED alright? Heal well..
June 1st, 2012 at 6:47 pm
JED, how are you and what did the doc say?
June 1st, 2012 at 7:57 pm
You’re all wonderful, as I’ve said. Thanks for the human concern.
The pain comes and goes as the 4mm BB in my gut keeps slowly wandering downwards. Right now they can’t see it, as it has slipped down and hidden itself behind a bony prominence. I like just saying that. “Bony prominence! Bony prominence!”
Anyway.
Urologist says, “If it hasn’t passed in six weeks we may have to do something.” Aanhhhh … SIX FUCKING WEEKS? Jesus. So yes, got drugs. And now, apparently I just need patience. And lemon water and apple juice, I guess.
P-Chan is in my lap. It is the place he likes best. He is the inspiration for Incus and the winged kitty. You’ll undoubtedly see him again from time to time in the comic. The real P-Chan is much handsomer than the model - but wat can I do?
June 1st, 2012 at 8:04 pm
Oh, also, while I am still struggling to get rid of a little BB, my sister-in-law popped out a whole kid. Her fourth. Don’t gimme any crap about women being weaker than men …
And congratulations to my bro on his new son, Gavin.
June 2nd, 2012 at 1:42 am
Nice to have a bit of perspective, isn’t it?
June 2nd, 2012 at 10:53 am
Jed, I have to tell you… Don’t take the random advice you’ve been given just yet! Wait until your doctor tells you what kind of stone you’ve been having and gives you instructions. What helps reduce one type of stone can really make another worse. And you really should see a specialist. I know it might be expensive, but seriously, go. You shouldn’t let yourself suffer like I did. I had a whole month of stones every other day until my mom finally dragged my butt to the doctor. I ended up with medicine and a complete diet change, but now I’m down to one stone or less a year. Definitely do not skip seeing a specialist.
The advice I can give you that will help with all stones: drink filtered water, reverse osmosis bottled water is also good. Cutting out caffeine is good. Eliminating coffee and dark soda is good. And whatever you do, don’t let yourself get dehydrated. That means stay in the air conditioning and don’t go doing anything that will make you sweat a lot until you have this under control. Also, what works for one person might not work for another. Cranberry juice actually makes me worse when I have the type that it’s supposed to help
And like I said, everyone is different and different stones need different things. As another example: I got to have potassium citrate, which was great for ending the stones, but horrible for my digestive system >.< I also had to completely revamp my diet. No dark soda, no coffee, no tea, no beans, no soy, no berries, no nuts, no dark leafy veggies, no carrots/celery/broccoli/sweet potatoes/parsley/etc. That’s just a generalized list. I’m supposed to pack as much dairy as I can because my kind of stone can be prevented by removing the chemicals with the binding of dietary calcium. It was a sucky transition, but it works well enough for me that I came off of the potassium citrate and now I just maintain with a very strict diet.
I wish you loads and loads of luck. Also, I really am a very big, if mostly silent, fan lol. And it’s completely understandable if you can’t focus on the comic right now. Besides, I’ve been meaning to reread it all soon anyways
Thanks for reading all of that! And I hope you feel better soon!
Mila
June 3rd, 2012 at 9:12 am
Just get better JED. We can wait for Zona while YOU can’t wait getting better. Take lots of rest, because after this kind of pain you feel so tired. hope you feel better soon, take care.
June 3rd, 2012 at 7:11 pm
Been there Dude! My wife also gets kidney stones, and I get gall bladder stones. She once told me that she would rather go through child birth again before she had another bout of kidney stones! Both of our best wishes go out to you for a speedy recovery!
June 3rd, 2012 at 11:30 pm
Well, it’s still there. Having an attack at the moment, in fact, which is why there might not be an update tomorrow. Yet, there may be. It does come and go. At least, until it finally goes, that is. Your well wishes, as always are balm to my spirit. Vicodin is balm to the rest …
June 5th, 2012 at 8:41 am
Take care of yourself JED. We can wait.
June 7th, 2012 at 12:01 pm
I remembered reading something ages ago about the use of ultrasonic waves to break up kidney stones. But I see on Wikipedia that while this technique, extracorporeal shock wave lithotripsy, is in current use, it is not without risks; probably it is the first option your doctor is considering after wait and see runs out.
June 26th, 2012 at 9:26 am
Another tip which might help if your stones are calcium based is to increase your vitamin D intake, which helps your body absorb and use calcium rather than expelling it. A while back I started developing stones a few times a year - thankfully not the agonizingly large kind, but still no fun when they were passing. Since I started taking vitamin D supplements a few times a week though they’ve stopped being an issue, and they come back whenever I stop for a prolonged period (curse you sharp and pokey science!) so I’m fairly confident that it’s not just coincidence.
June 28th, 2012 at 11:16 am
IT’S AWAY!!
Pfew! At long freakin’ last. Even caught the sucker and we’ll have it analyzed. You guys have been wonderfully sympathetic, and I appreciate it. I hope this is the worst health problem I have for a long time.
June 28th, 2012 at 10:29 pm
Dammit, now you just jinxed yourself.
July 1st, 2012 at 9:22 pm
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