July 14th, 2009
Page 290
Comics for July 14, 2009 - Page 290
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July 14th, 2009 at 12:11 am
Thank you, Sir. May I have another?
That’s all that’s going through my head right now.
Shauch is a militant dick.
Nuff said.
July 14th, 2009 at 12:13 am
awwww I still need you but first I will punish you eh
July 14th, 2009 at 1:39 am
And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe”
July 14th, 2009 at 1:41 am
“And there was a great SPANK noise which echoed across the land…”
July 14th, 2009 at 2:43 am
…and he, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff if.
July 14th, 2009 at 2:44 am
Sorry, but reading this reminds me of my dad when he used to say ” And the Lord said unto Moses ‘Come Forth!’ , but he came fifth, so he lost all his beer money”
July 14th, 2009 at 2:54 am
Nytsky, I think the most foul, creul, and bad tempered rodent of caerbannog, described as a death waiting with big pointy teeth, and having a vicious streak a mile wide, would seems a pleasent picnic for our gang compared to what is coming from these guys. BTW, in the last scene, G is being bitten by the killer rabbit, hench the tie in. Uh.. Yeah…
July 14th, 2009 at 3:18 am
Whooooaaaahhh…
Shuach’s not your run-of-the-mill demonic god. He’s evil on a whole other level. This is the guy who ruins children’s tales of adventure because he’s dead serious. This guy is definitely an evil god.
Damn, you’d think lizard-face would be getting a whole lot more power out of this…what’s the point, when a single female prey can best him?
July 14th, 2009 at 3:41 am
Not very imaginative. Acute pain’s not that big a deal. Chronic pain is much harder to endure. But emotional pain, that’s the big ticket item.
July 14th, 2009 at 5:25 am
Woo…someone’s into the S half of SM on a whole new level…eek…
Dark Gods…go figure…
July 14th, 2009 at 5:57 am
“But before you waken, you shall wear this!”
July 14th, 2009 at 5:58 am
(Shuach magically produces ball-gag and “special” gear.)
July 14th, 2009 at 7:29 am
Reminds me of an old 200AD/Judge Dredd moment…
…Leastwise, I *think* it’s from there…
Anyways, at the end of an epic length story, the bad guys - I think it was Russian Judges - have been trounced and the Chief bad guy is paid a visit from hios boss. He’s told that he’s not going to be killed or punished, that it was only bad luck he failed. BUT… for the rest of his life, every morning he’s to take out an old six-shooter, load a single bullet, spin the chamber, put it to his temple and pull the trigger. Oh, and if he doesn’t then his family will be killed instead.
July 14th, 2009 at 7:55 am
moox, it’s not that children’s tales get ruined, it’s that we water them down so they pass for ‘happy’ tales.
And if Shauch’s priesthood are based on blood/pain/suffering Gorshash is about to go from priest to GRAND HIGH POOBAH of doom.
*sips root beer*
HALT HAMMAZIET!
July 14th, 2009 at 8:32 am
Well, he did say Gorsharch was going to pay in pain. That’s certainly pain. But think on this also; some believe that gods feed off the faith and emotional energy of their followers. Being a dark god, Shauch probably likes the pain. Not only that, but it’s a trial, a test, like the old “go out into the desert for 40 days. If you live, I’ll make you special.”
July 14th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Cake or Death?
July 14th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Now, pain at the level Gorshash is about to endure is an interesting thing. Granted that Urtts are not human, but physiologically they are close enough to interbreed (which opens up a whole new realm of speculation). The nervous system is not geared to take that much continuous stimulation over that length of time, magic not withstanding, it just shuts down or…other things happen. Gorshash is no stranger to pain as has been well established and this last panel is another example of JED’s genius. Do we see the glimmer of insanity in Gorshash’s eyes as well as no little hatred? He certainly knows what sort of ride he is in for over the next three days. No doubt that hatred is going to be focused on our Tula but one wonders if a bit of it is not going to be centered on a certain fire God. One thing for sure, after three days of extreme magick enhanced pain, that’s gonna be one ‘changed’ Urtt! And then there’s the psychological aspect of sleep deprivation, - yadda, yadda, yammer. . .
July 14th, 2009 at 10:26 am
…and you will be surrounded by malicious children who will poke you with sticks and call you names.
July 14th, 2009 at 11:06 am
So not only does it suck to be Gorshash right now, it’s going to suck to be him for the next 3 days. OW. Oh well, at least he’ll most likely be passing out a lot from the pain, so he won’t be awake the ENTIRE time.
July 14th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Charming boss indeed.
July 14th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
@The Macnut - Nope. Chat box 4, Shuach tells Gorshash to stay awake the entire time.
JED, Once again, you have outdone yourself….Does anyone else think that the last panel of Gorshash, if it had a little more of his face, would make great for a motivational poster?
INSANITY
A great motivator for those who don’t win.
July 14th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
OK, I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I probably will. So, the disclaimer first: I do not intend this to be an attack on anything or anyone, including religions or any kind of religious people.
Now that’s out of the way: I must admit the first thing that came to my mind when reading the strip was “For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.”
Though, when thinking about it, I guess the people who would automatically be offended by that probably aren’t around here. This isn’t the first time that parallell has been quite obvious.
July 14th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Ga’Tor: Interesting point on pain. I agree pain and tribulations as a path to power/insight/insanity/illumination/transformation (where none are mutually exclusive) is a classic. Odin hanging on Yggdrasil for nine days, shamanic practices doing “interesting” stuff to yourself, ditto for Hindu sadhus, Christian flagellants and so on and so forth…
July 14th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Argh, I intended this to be a part of the previous post. Anyway:
Compare this strip to the conversation about pain between Tula and Gorshash earlier. The simplistic view of pain of Gorshash may be a primitive echo of Shuach? At least it fits nicely. Or perhaps they’re just sadistic bastards, both of them.
July 14th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
@Ghost: you speak as if passing out i.e. losing consciousness from extreme pain is a choice. It isn’t-a person’s brain has a limit of how much pain impulses it can process, when it reaches that limit-automatic shutdown. For the person that brain is in, unconsciousness.
I’m sure Gorshash will TRY to stay awake the whole time, but unless he uses magic to help, his badly injured body will reach its limit and force him under.
July 14th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
@The Macnut: I interpreted Shuach’s words “your art” as “magic”. I guess if Gorshash is too injured to manage to use magic, but gets some rest instead, then Shuach will be pissed about that as well. Those two deserve each other…
Anyway, Gorshash is not a human. He does not live in our world. What he is and isn’t capable of, how it will affect him and how he experiences it may very well be quite different from what any of us thinks of as “reasonable”.
July 14th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
AdamZero - Apt. Very apt. And I think we have established that Shuach is very solidly on the “Naughty” list.
zenla - quite. He’s definitely not done with Gorshash yet.
Nytsky - you’re gonna start the whole forum ringing with Monty Python quotes, you know.
Sage - Oh, yes. Loud and nasty spanking.
Hypertrophobic - See, Nytsky!???
Steve - HA! Funny! =D
IncursionZero - No more Monty Python jokes, now, I mean it! (”Anybody want a peanut?”) Don’t underestimate Tula’s abilities in the face of an incursion by Shooey-boy. She gets the full backing of the sisters, so in all likelihood she was even “hotter” magickally than she normally would be.
Moox - Yup. Evilllllllll… and Oh, the HATE!!
God - it actually is all going together. He’s been told he’s unworthy. That’s pretty bad already.
Kaila - EEEEEEVILLLL!!!!
Uhl - Oh, Jesus, Gorshash in latex! EWWWW!!!
Kern - Never got into Judge Dredd, though what I did see of it was really fine art and wicked funny.
Lachesis - I think it’s fair to say that Gorshash is not going to be quite the same moustache-twirler he was when we met him.
hans - I LOVE Eddie Izzard!
Ga’Tor - Mogick is not notwithstanting in this instance. He’s specifically ordered to use his art - which is magick - to supernaturally keep himself awake. So yes, all the worst pain a human nervous system can physically stand and WORSE will happen to our boy. And I leave it to your lurid imaginations to speculate on what that will do to his already warped little mind …
wysiwyg - NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Macnut - See previous comment about magickal wakefulness. EEEEEVILLLLLL!!!!
Mallor - Hello? “Evil?”
Ghost - you got it. And if you want, I can make the rest of that render into a vote incentive. It’s pretty awful, actually …
Steinar - Many interesting comments! Some of which I have mirrored or addressed above. Regarding any religious significance, I will let the work speak for itself.
July 14th, 2009 at 11:45 pm
To state love for Eddie Izzard is redundant. All love Eddie Izzard. He is the love-maker. Also an executive transvestite male tomboy. *nod*
July 15th, 2009 at 6:56 am
Love that last panel, After all that stick (including that Gorshash might not survive for three days), he suddenly drops the carrot that he will have tasks for him later. Love Gorshash’s response as well. Being a clever Uurt he undrstands that his ‘god’ has not turned away from him totally, and that by definition he WILL survive the three days. But man, gotta feel sorry for the guy-thing. Three days of insane pain which you cannot avoid and must voluntarily provoke while all the time having to honestly thank and praise Shuach for the experience. Anything our heroes would be likely to do to him would be quick merciful and honorable by comparison.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:31 am
You could always try Ubuntu. its free. and it will save things in windows formats if needed.
July 15th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Stenar:
“For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.”
Doesn’t mean what you seem to think it means. I’m genuinely sorry about the personal experiences that have led you to see any parallel between the instructions here to G. and that phrase. But you cannot avoid offending - seriously offending - people of any Abrahamic faith who live their lives by that compass, and are not the kind of people depicted in this scene. That’s not even respectful, informed discussion - just a drive by smear. And your instinct that it was a bad idea to do so, is one you should have listened to.
How about we leave specific discussions of real world religions out of this, per JE’s earlier admonitions?
July 15th, 2009 at 11:35 am
DEMAS
I think you pretty well called it in regards to the ‘carrot’. The prospect of revenge will keep Gorshash focused on surviving the pain.
This amount of pain can break the mind and spirit- which leaves me to believe Shauch is being much more intelligent about this than I first thought, not just inflicting pain for the pleasure of doing so. I would not be surprised if Shauch keeps a careful watch on Gorshash during this trial, and will not permit him to die. I don’t think he would actually risk destroying Gorshash, no matter what he has told the poor Urt. After all, Shauch has been imprisoned for over a thousand years, and unless he is completely around the bend, must be desperate to get out, and at the moment, Gorshash is the only key he has to that door.
I suspect he wishes to bend or break Gorshash without destroying him. If he can shape Gorshash’s broken mind directly, he might end up with a much more powerful priest – possibly quite mad, of course, but more obedient – perhaps even directly controlled.
If Gorshash is broken beyond use as a priest-mage – well, he is still the only tool Shauch has, with which to capture another tool.
July 15th, 2009 at 11:40 am
JED
Could we please please please find another color, other than orange on white, for the comment box. Something with contrast? It gives me a headache just rying to read the text. Very hard on the eyes when attempting to proofread.
The standard black on white has worked for over a thousand years.
July 15th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Steiner, if that was the first thing that came to your mind, you must know your Deuteronomy pretty well. I’m impressed.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Firstly, let me say… Sorry John, look the other way for just 1 min please….. *whistling* ……
Secondly; Joe, what makes you think Steiner was out to get you (or other people of your faith)? Please re read his post… and; just for the record this is “playtime”, OK? Your rant concerning Steiner’s post is out of line… especially in this forum.
We all make choices concerning what we carry. If someone hands you a woolen coat in mid July ( 112* F), are you going put it on?
You are making a coconscious choice here, one that is going to adversely effect (yes E’ffect) this list, and yourself within it. It may be wise to decide not to carry the coat.
As John indicated; this topic doesn’t belong in this forum. Perhaps next time it may be a good idea to write to the “person” in question and ask for his/her personal email addy, thereby removing any unpleasantness from our pages here.
To reiterate: Please stop stepping on our fun.
Thankx;
Nytsky
July 15th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
All right kids, don’t *make* me put my high heels on and come down there.
Everybody, including Joe, has a point. As I indicated, it’s a touchy subject and it’s best treated - in this forum - as purely a fantasy story. As an artist and a mature person (oy! ) I am fully aware that once I put something out there it’s fair game for people to see what they want in it. All I’m saying, though, is that in a place that literally has my name attached to it I would be very grateful if the subject of any corollary religious significance of the words and actions of fictional deities and non-human high priests be treated as seriously as “Obi-Wan never told you about the power of the Dark Side!” rather than looking for parallels in the Old Testament and bringing them up here. It’s actually pretty flattering, and I encourage you to have this discussion and even flame wars on the cratered landscape of some other forum dedicated to it.
In point of fact, you’d be doing me a big favor by doing just that, because you might get more people interested in checking out this little comic.
But please, please - folks can twist their knickers onto this one faster than my ex-wife runs from a June bug. Let’s not do it from either side of this issue - not here.
July 15th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Man, Gorshash is really this guy’s bitch….
But it does raise some major league questions about how Zona, Mentl, and whoever else they pick up is going to handle this guy? I mean, Zona’s a real good swordsman, and Mentl’s got the magic mojo, but I think they might be a bit outclassed here.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:37 am
Well, if you put a mortal one-to-one with a god, then of course the god will win. But Zona et al aren’t on their own in this - they have the backing of the Moon goddess and the Earth goddess in this (since Tula was able to call on both of them in her fight with Gorshash). I can’t imagine that either goddess will want to see Shuach back, since they kicked him out in the first place. I don’t suppose any of the other gods/goddesses would want Shuach back either. For that matter we don’t know how many there are in the pantheon, we only know of two others I think - Thrasu and the sun god. So, do all the planetary bodies have deities (sun, moon, earth, …?) or what about the elements, as Shuach seems to be a fire god (Earth, Fire, Water, Air, Surprise?) Or is it just a mixture. like the romano-greek gods? If so is there a trickster god (like Loki/Mercury/Hermes)? Such a god might well take an interest in Mentl because of the random element he represents.There is just so much we don’t know about this world that could alter things.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Death.
No! Cake! I meant Cake!
July 16th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Nice…nice page. The discussion got me thinking JED…Tula now knows what she is fighting (a priest of the god her current godesses banished). I am expecting that they will be none too pleased about his re-appearance in the world via his new priest. I am thinking that at some point Tula is gonna be reporting in to alt leas her superiors and/or commune with the goddesses themselves…sort of a counterpoint to the current pages… just musing aloud…
And to those who cited Monty-Python….thank-you! I nearly pissed myself laughing…=) S to G….”It’s just a flesh wound…”
July 16th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Ooh, sudden thought. If the story is heading into Erogenia, then I think we could hazard a guess that we’ll probably run into some old friends of Zona, up to and including ex-boyfriends….
And don’t even get me started on the insecurities Mentl’s going to have to deal with with all those muscle-bound meatheads XD
July 16th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Not to mention that Mentl gets to meet his girlfriends mother - which is always good for embarrassing moments!
July 16th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
@Steve
Especially when his girlfriends mother might want to hear a “love song” herself!
July 16th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
I wonder if JED has kids.
I wonder how creative he is, if he does, with any punishments needed…
July 17th, 2009 at 10:00 am
@Bobby, Steve:
I recall this having heard from another very famous queen: “Shall mum tell you another naughty story?”
Maybe this would not be embarrassing at all for her, but for Mentl and the still envious and possessive (bad cha girl) Zona…one never knows.
July 17th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
@Sleepinin: “If the story is heading into Erogenia, then I think we could hazard a guess that we’ll probably run into some old friends of Zona, up to and including ex-boyfriends….
And don’t even get me started on the insecurities Mentl’s going to have to deal with with all those muscle-bound meatheads XD”
Not to mention the insecurities of the musclehead ex-boyfriends themselves. I can see it already; “You left US for this skinny, big-eared, horse-nosed LITTLE guy???”
Zona: “He’s QUITE big enough where it counts, boys.”
July 17th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
It’s always possible that big “S” sees himself as YHVH and is acting accordingly. We don’t know the full perception available in the OTHERWHEN, but it’s clear they do have some awareness of our world, perhaps Suach even read that passage of the Old Testament and thought “hey that’s me!” It’s not the first time some “god” has acted that way in both real and fictional faiths. For the time being, I am treating Shuach’s behavior as a fantasy construct and leaving REAL faiths out of it.